Images and Words

And when I ask him why he likes the song so much, he just looks at me and says there’s something about it. I look back at him and ask, “It’s me, isn’t it? The girl in the song reminds you of me, doesn’t she?”

One step back and a step down, right foot forward and just zoom ahead. A step back up, one right and one forward. The right foot goes forward again, and you zoom ahead. It’s easy to just ram the accelerator and drive past everything, drive away from everything.

Back.
Right.
U.
Straight.
Right.
Left… and straight ahead.

I’m away from it. By now I’m zipping past everything on the fourth gear in my little 4-wheeler. Everything beside me zips past in a blur. The camera tries to focus on one object but the motion is too fast to allow the cameraman to focus on one particular object. Distances are changing. Focuses are changing. Before I know it, I’m 3 kms away from where I started. I look at my watch and it’s been a mere 2 mins ago that I was struggling to get rid of the brakes and just zip forward.

But where have I come? It’s not unknown territory. I’ve come here before. I come here everyday and look at the grey walls that run along it. The grey walls with the glass pieces so nobody gets in, or maybe so that nobody gets out. Barriers, security, blocks… It’s at every opening. But I’ve come here before. I come here everyday. It’s the farthest I’ve gotten. It’s the room I’ve locked myself in, to block out everything else that disturbs me. But I didn’t build this grey wall. It was already there. I didn’t put the pieces of broken glass there. They’ve been there since I knew it. Somewhere Poiccard was running saying he chose nothingness. Did I choose grief?

I found myself seated at a table this afternoon. I wasn’t alone. The sound of the piano was continuously playing in my head… “water can’t cover her memories, and ashes can’t answer her pain…” sang LaBrie to the notes of the piano.

I asked him why he likes the song so much, he just looks at me and says there’s something about it. I look back at him and ask, “It’s me, isn’t it? The girl in the song reminds you of me, doesn’t she?”

“She stares at the ceiling
And tries not to think
And pictures the chain
Shes been trying to link again
But the feeling is gone”

Wait for Sleep – Dream Theater